It’s a Journey

When I opened up my instagram today I was met with a fitgirl photo from fitgirl_michelle2015. The photo on the left showed her at the beginning of her journey 4 months ago and the right photo was her recent photo. On the right she looked strong, happy, fit. Before and after photos are powerful because we see the results, we see a side we relate to and we see a side we want to achieve. But the problem is we see nothing else. We don’t see the struggle, the sick days, the days we fell off the training schedule, the tears, the disappointment. Instead, we idolize the desirable pic.

That’s my problem. I tell myself I want to get fit and I’ll start out but, oh, if I don’t see results I get discouraged and eat poorly and I have to start all over again. Well, what if this time, I keep it, I adopt it as my way of life and I keep at it? I want to find out how I would feel being strong, fit and confident. It’s worth it. I want to do it.

Advertisements

Cheers to Another Year!

I’m home. After touching down at 3:30 AM last night, and rolling into bed close to 4:30 AM I’m ready to be home and to get back into the life. I spent a week in Southern BC, vising family on Vancouver Island and meeting my boyfriend in Vancouver for a few days.

My days were spent stuffing my face, walking everywhere, picking up some clothes to round out my wardrobe (had to supplement my jeans), watching the fireplace channel with my 3 year old niece, holding hands with my boyfriend down sparkling city streets, being close to the ocean and eating more waffles than I should! I took a seaplane for the first time, watched some people freak out about a rat running around the closed Starbucks at the Vancouver airport. Aaah, good times.

My Christmas was merry and chill which is the only way I like to go. I’m not about the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. To me it’s a time to relax and spend some time with those I love. I’m really thankful I was able to do that this break, and I’m also thankful I was able to have two weeks off work to do so!

Since Thanksgiving in October (Canadian style) I gave it a great effort with a friend of mine to push ourselves at the gym. We also held off on beer for those 8 weeks and I really admire us for that. Nearing the end it was getting a little difficult for me. But looking back now, I’m impressed with our enthusiasm at wanting to make some life changes.

While on my trip I really wanted to enjoy the stuff I can’t get while at home so I went full out on sushi, Belgian waffles, poutine, all the goodness I could get my hands on. There’s no way I regret that, plus a lot of that was accompanied by oodles of walking around downtown Vancouver. I’m not going to get into sizes an weight but I want to go back to my passion before. I hit the gym today and took it easy. A girl can’t get fit in a single day, but I’m ready to put in the work this winter and see where I end up once spring rolls around.

~~~

Added to that, I’ve been wondering what’s going to happen to this blog, where I want it to go. It has been a while since I posted last but I know I’ll miss the community, the lessons learned and passed on from this online readership. I love checking up on your guys’ newest posts and seeing what you guys are up to whether it’s with hair, life, fitness, finances or food. I’ll be honest, I don’t think I can give up this blog quite yet. I’ve had an amazing journey from my start back in May 2013 and look where I am now. I hope I can be a source of ideas and I am continually inspired by what I see from all of you.

~~~

I have some goals for this year. I’m sure each of them will unfold in good time and I’ll do my best to share them with you.

Below are some pics of my eats and shenanigans this holiday season.

Happy New Year to each of you.

Much love,
Ndeshi

Smiling in the Rain

It’s as though October just arrived and it’s already on it’s way out. Before I know it I’ll be knee deep in snow. I already see it on the tops of some mountains so it’s only a matter of time really. At the moment it has been raining for two weeks solid. We haven’t had a break from it in so long. I saw the sun for about 5 minutes yesterday before it continued its deluge. This prompted me to get new winter/rain boots so now I am equipped for all of the precipitation! And next weekend Raffi will get his winter tires on and he’ll be ready as well!

Rocco

I’ve started wear my hair in smallish braids during the week, taking them down Friday after work and wearing it out on the weekends. This may change once it gets colder and I need to shield my hair from the cold but for right now it’s been working.

A length check is on my list. Just to see what’s happening up there. I can say I have now been natural for 2 years, 7 months and 5 days 😛 I love it!

A hair ‘uh oh’ that happened recently for me… I was at the optometrist doing an eye test and the lady who came in to help the person administering my test (it was her first time) looked at my hair and proclaimed ‘Ooh it’s so cool I want to touch it’ and without waiting for a response proceeded to touch my hair. She then followed that action with ‘Oh it’s so fuzzy, it’s just like Michelle’s’… Uuuuugh. Honestly, I’m not adverse to saying no to people who ask to  touch my hair. But at least give me that chance to say no before you dive in! Holy…

Here are some pics of my love, Rocco.

Fitness

I’m doing a sort of fitness/clean-eating challenge with my friend S. We kicked it off on Tuesday, as Monday was Thanksgiving and we wanted to eat all the pie. I want to see some changes so we’ve started a low-carb diet and we’ve been working out together. We both have the same trouble spot: the tire around our midsections. It has to go. So we’re busting our butts and I’m really excited because we’ve been doing quite well working out and going to the gym and such. I’m going to head their today and get in some work out time. I really want to put in the effort so I can see my body change for the better.

We decided on having a cheat meal once a week and while I chose to have mine on Saturdays I really didn’t go in that direction. For lunch with my boo yesterday I had this delicious smoked salmon salad. I was so excited when I saw it came with avocado (yum)! Also, did some knitting with L last night and we munched on kale chips and popcorn and drank soda water with squeezed lime juice (so good and refreshing)!

Life

I stumbled on the cutest illustrative blog. I had to show my boo because they were like us! You can find it here.

I’ve also tasked myself with a budget I need to stick to. I spent way too much unallocated money last weekend. I know it was Thanksgiving long weekend but I think I was a little too free with pulling out the card. So I’ve got my budget in place and I plan to make the most of it.

Also, I’m not big on Halloween. Actually I’m not a fan at all. But if I were to go I would go as Suzy Carmichael cause she’s awesome.

Now that it’s Sunday I have to wash my hair, prep my meals for the week and relaaax before Monday!

Here are some rainy pics me and boo took on a forest walk.

I hope you have a great day!

My First 10 km Race!

I did it! It was a small race which suited me perfectly. It was along the Pacific Ocean on Haida Gwaii and it was glorious! I made it in 58:20 which was perfect for my goal of under an hour and especially great because my ankle started to hurt 1/2 km into the race. Then on the way back my right toe went tingly and numb, I think I tied my shoe laces a little too tight. Lesson learned.

I’ve got some pics for ya 🙂

 

Why Does It Only Rain On Weekends? Gr…

Why is it sunny and hot throughout the week and raining on the weekends?

Answer me that.

I was planning to bike to the coffee shop to meet my friend but… I’m not feeling it now that the heavens have opened up.

i did run 10 k today with L. It was a good pace. Next weekend I’m going to try my race pace for 10 and see how I do. I’m feeling okay right now. No real aches or creaks. I’m really excited for our trip. We have a wedding coming up in three weeks so we thought of knitting them a blanket together since we have 16 hours on a ferry. We’re meeting for coffee to look up blanket patterns for the wedding present and meal/packing plans for our camping trip.

I haven’t had beer in about 6 weeks. Ever since I started my gym plan May 20. So you can believe there will be a cooler full of beer for the evening after my race and it will be glorious! lso this Haida Gwaii trip will be belt, jeans and underwire free. It’s gonna be a weekend of leggings softy bras, and baggy everything. I can’t wait.

I’ve been keeping up with the gym. I know I need to put the maximum effort into each workout in order to see results, but it can be tricky.

Rocco

I’ve been keeping Rocco twisted away during the week. About two weeks ago I had a couple of days off and I just had to let him loose. He was so full and big it was great. He started out with some definition in his twist-out, then it was a little rainy and he poofed a bit. But he still looked great and I rocked him big and proud for the day.

Yesterday I made a huge mistake. I was getting out of the shower and saw my friend was heading to the market. I thought, sure I’ll go with. This was the first time in forever where I was washing my hair loose instead of in 4 braids/twists. I put on a headband and wore a large puff, did some towel drying and headed out the door. I had some water dripping down my neck which was uncomfortable. I didn’t mind wearing my hair out but in the back of my head I knew it was not going to be fun getting Rocco back in order afterwards. But for now… I just wanted to enjoy some veggie rolls, chicken kabobs and rice noodles as is my summertime Saturday tradition.

When I got home I knew it was on. Put in a Will & Grace DVD and I got to it. I tried to start with finger detangling because I knew my hair had dried in zig zags and spiralling around each other. I also hadn’t deep conditioned it so my hair was squeaky and felt really brittle. It was not fun. It’s all twisted up now and I have (re)learned my lesson. I honestly haven’t washed my hair loose or let it air dry like that for over a year and this experience confirmed my reasons why.

Life

I really wasn’t sure what I was going to wear for the wedding that’s coming up so I gave in to peer pressure and ordered two dresses from Forever 21… ugh. I was at L’s and she was ordering two dresses (why did I give in to peer pressure? Believe me there was a lot of mental back-and-forth. I even checked out how to cancel the order, but they don’t have that option so looks like two dresses will be heading my way. Of course as soon as I got back from L’s I looked in my closet and was surprised to see a suitable summer dress from (yep) Forever 21. It was a Value Village find. I’ll make sure to post the options and you can all help me decide! 🙂

While I wasn’t happy I spent $68 on dresses, I did get my quarterly GST rebate a week later so that helped. I put the majority of it onto my  MC to cover the dresses. Thanks for the dresses Government of Canada!

My first adjusted student loan payment went out. Blah. Bye $1000. I’m glad I’m doing this though since $150 is interest paid, so really I’m only applying $850 to my principal. So with my previous payments of $392 I was applying only $242 to my principal. Don’t be satisfied with only paying the minimum. Unless you want to hang on to that debt for forever and pay so much more than the original.

Oooh! At the market was a kennel of about 6 puppies. They were SOOOO CUTE!!! They were $50 and ADORABLE! AAAAGH!! I held one and he fell asleep in my arms… gosh.

Dresses:

What do you guys think?

Thoughts On My Fitness

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight.

It’s one thing to lose weight but how do you maintain that? I can go crazy at the gym for 6 weeks, shed 8 lbs but the week I don’t go to the gym, sure I may be eating the same but will all that weight and those inches come back? I’m sort of in a place I’ve never been before. I’m working out and running because I want to lose weight. But then what? Last summer fitness was more a part of my daily routine. I biked to work. It was amazing. My body responded. But now it’s a battle between what I eat and how much I work out. I want to see results, I don’t want to see the effects of sitting for 75% of my day. I want to slim down and I want to stay slimmed down much like my 18-year-old self.

I don’t have the chance to run like I used to. Weekends are basically my only opportunities. Or mornings on the treadmill.

Why am I focusing so much on my weight? Because I don’t fit my jeans like I used to. Because I feel myself jiggle when I walk over to the printer. Because I want to be able to run 10k on a Sunday morning like it ain’t no thang. And I know I can get there, but if I ever stop, even momentarily, I feel like I have to start all over again.

This is as much a ramble as anything.

What are my fitness goals? I shouldn’t be too concerned with weight and my current 140 lb self isn’t going to aim for my previous 120 lb weight. But I would be more than happy with 130 lb. And feel free to take all of that weight from my tummy.

Why do we want flat tummies? That’s where our food goes. Do we want to look like we don’t eat or do we want to be able to wear crop tops and be able to see our belly button? Just a question. Is it because magazine covers promise us we can have ‘that belly’ in ’10 minutes a day’? That’s a sure fire path to self loathing right there. I spend more than 10 minutes a day on this area and I haven’t seen a whole lot.

There’s a lot about ‘feeling good’. I want to workout so I ‘feel good’. But is that criteria that allows us to feel good created by us individually or shaped by what we see on covers, on TV, on tumblr and instagram? I know my answer.

I don’t buy magazines but they’re looking directly at them when I’m in line at the grocery check out with all the mixings for amazing nachos. Yeah, they’re looking at me. And I’m looking right back going, my job consists of me sitting for 11 hours. Not doing yoga-lates for 4 hours a day in my private gym with my personal trainer sorry!

If I feel healthy, which I’m starting to, and if I feel like I’m comfortable in my clothes, I’ll get there, then I’ll be a happy camper. In the meantime I’m not going to become hysterical for this reason or that. I’ll be thankful I’m here. I’ll be happy I’m healthy. And I’ll strive to improve myself one day at a time.

My Week: Running, Rocco and James

I’m pretty proud of myself. Yesterday I planned to go for a run but instead had a luxurious sleep in. Today I gave myself the boot out of bed and hit the road. Running outside is a luxury compared to running on a treadmill. It was fantastic. It was overcast and a little cool today but no rain which was ideal for me. And guess what? Yeah, I ran 10 k. Whoo!! And I ran it in under an hour!!!

It went like this. La dee da. Here I go! On the road and feeling pretty good. What should I do today. 6 k? 8 k? You know… let’s do a 10 k. I need to know I’m capable of it still. And off I went.

Nearing the end of my run I was sitting at 9.3 something. I was sitting at about 56 minutes? I wanted to get this 10 in under 60 minutes so you’d better believe I kicked it into high gear. It was a race against the clock and I came in 59:20. How’s that for squeaking in? Aaah it felt so great! I should have kept going just a little longer because I looked at my RunKeeper afterwards and my longest clocked run was 10.6 k. But hey maybe I’ll just go for a 12 next time?

I’m really happy to know that I am capable of running a 10 k well in advance of my race. And knowing my benchmark right now will help me see my improvements. I’m a happy girl.

ALSO!! The gym has been my best friend these past 2 weeks. It does help. In so many ways then I can count. My day is just better. I will definitely keep that going.

I’m currently sitting with a bag on my head (it’s Sunday, what’s new right?). I finally bought myself a new hair dryer. I bought one for $50, then promptly returned it when I found one for $25. If the blow dryer styled and twisted my hair for me I would’ve gladly shelled out that cash but otherwise… $25 is just fine. I can finally toss my 9 year old hair dryer that makes horrible revving sounds and I’m sure will short circuit any day now.

My hair in the front is now past my chin. It’s crazy. I try and treat Rocco right in hopes he’ll just do his thing and keep on growing. So far it’s worked out well. It’s been 2 years and 3 months since my BC and I honestly couldn’t be happier.

For the rest of the day I plan to make wonton soup (Yum!!). Later this afternoon I’ll be hanging at the coffee shop with my buddy L to plan our trip to the Island next month. Weeeee!!

Oh yeah!! I forgot, last week B and I went to the coast for a couple days to hang out. It was fantastic. It was nice and warm, not raining as usual, and we had a fantastic dinner and a fabulous ocean sunset view. I also took home a crab. I named him James and James was one feisty crab. And he was also delicious. My mom was not impressed with my naming our dinner hehe.

Hope your Sunday is treating you right!!