It’s a Journey

When I opened up my instagram today I was met with a fitgirl photo from fitgirl_michelle2015. The photo on the left showed her at the beginning of her journey 4 months ago and the right photo was her recent photo. On the right she looked strong, happy, fit. Before and after photos are powerful because we see the results, we see a side we relate to and we see a side we want to achieve. But the problem is we see nothing else. We don’t see the struggle, the sick days, the days we fell off the training schedule, the tears, the disappointment. Instead, we idolize the desirable pic.

That’s my problem. I tell myself I want to get fit and I’ll start out but, oh, if I don’t see results I get discouraged and eat poorly and I have to start all over again. Well, what if this time, I keep it, I adopt it as my way of life and I keep at it? I want to find out how I would feel being strong, fit and confident. It’s worth it. I want to do it.

My Curly Potential – Bye!

Hey everyone! Thank you for following My Curly Potential for the past few years.

I’ve been thinking it for a while, but had yet to make a decision. I don’t believe I will continue posting on My Curly Potential anymore. I feel like my hair journey is more just a beautiful part of my life and I have loved sharing my journey.

Now I’m focusing on my physical journey with food and exercise. You can follow that journey on www.seetezrun.wordpress.com

Thank you to all who have watched Rocco grow since March 2012. It’s been fun! I won’t close the site because it’s my time capsule to look back on the good times (and the not so good). And it’s a great reference.

Thank you again!

It’s A Blizzard #snowday2015

Northwestern BC is getting slapped in the face by a massive snowstorm. I couldn’t get my car out of the driveway even if I wanted to. What’s nice was, no work today. I just have to keep busy so cabin fever doesn’t set in.

I work an hour away from home and yesterday, the snow was getting pretty bad so I left work 3 hours early and caught a ride with my boyfriend. This morning I woke up and the highway advisory had been updated and was the same so I was ok with staying at home. Also, Feb 9 is a holiday so I in fact have a 4 day weekend!

My boyfriend, myself and 4 friends were planning to spend the weekend two hours away in a small town for some skiing. Now I don’t skii, but I was to do it with the bunch just for one. I was more than ok with spending some time in the lodge with a good book and hot cocoa (or wine, let’s be honest). But with this insane weather none of that will be happening. Boo.

Let me tell you what I’ve been up to lately.

Jan 26 a friend I purchase the Fit Girl Guide and we started their 28 Day Challenge. Right now I’m on Week 2 Day 5 of the challenge and I’ve seen progress. Maybe I’ll post the pics here further into the challenge…

What’s tough right now is I am stuck inside my house (thankfully with power…) with nowhere to go and I feel like I want to eat everything yknow? It’s howling wind outside, snow is blowing everywhere, you can barely see anything and I’m on the couch bundled in a blanket and all I can think to do is snack. Snack snack snack. I will do everything in my power to eat my meals in an appropriate portion and fashion and I pray sometime today I will do my half hour workout.

I’ll be honest, so far today all I’ve had is popcorn. A moderate portion of popcorn but nonetheless… popcorn.

I’ve been wearing Rocco under a toque for the entirety of this week to be perfectly honest. I feel like he’s been getting long.. being inside all day I’ll probably have a really good and thorough wash day. here’s hoping!

Man I want chips…

Yes, Zambia in 8 weeks. It’s going to be amazing. I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for a long time and it’s finally happening. This trip is going to show me a lot about myself, where I come from and those I call family. I’m so excited to meet cousins and aunts and uncles! It’s going to be quite the reunion.

I really thought I had more to say than that…..

I’m Going Home!

I have seen pictures of the red earth but now I get to walk it.

I will see anthills taller than my head. And hear birds whose names I do not know.

I’ve heard the names of family and loved ones but now I get to hug them!

It’s almost too good to be true.

I will see the hospital where I was born and the city that held us until our departure.

I will walk with my mom through her school yard.

I will see the trees that look like someone has sat on them.

I will see a new set of stars. I will see a different set of skies.

I will be surrounded by a language my tongue did not learn.

I will walk.

I will see The Smoke That Thunders. I will feel it on my face and feel the freshness on my skin.

I wil be surrounded by family. I will be loved. I will be home.

Rocco’s Still Going Strong

Finally, today I gave Rocco the attention he’d been missing for the past two weeks. Sundays are my wash days but last week was my boyfriend’s birthday and I didn’t leave enough time to get Rocco washed so I put him up in a high bun and there he stayed… for the next week.

Today I gave him a steam, did some major detangling, got rid of plenty of shed hair, and gave him a good scrub. He’s now moisturized and up in twists. I haven’t been blow drying my hair after washing it lately. I think it’s probably been a good 8 weeks since I’ve last blow dried my hair. It makes for longer twists, and fluffier twist outs but I don’t mind not using heat on my hair for a while and skipping the blow drying saves me quite a bit of time as well.

I really don’t think about Rocco and my hair that much anymore. It’s sort of been absorbed into my life. It’s no longer ‘new’. It’s definitely fun, but it’ now has its place in my life and I know how to make my hair shine and dance and it’s great. Actually, I realized I’ll be 3 years natural in two months. I’m smiling now that I think about it because I can see my face now sitting in that chair. I remember how I felt, I remember the uncertainty and anxiety of my hair falling to the floor and the buzz of the razor. I also remember loving the little curls as they sprouted from my scalp. I remember the ease of wash days and the way I checked my length at certain points, always surprised by its progress.

My hair is now well past my chin and past my collar bone. I know it’s time for a trim with the number of fairy knots I encounter but… at the same time… I’m so happy by how comfortable I am with my hair. With myself. I’ve come quite a ways from my days of buying hair relaxer at London Drugs, putting on my gloves and getting to it. I dreaded each occasion but was happy once it was done. But it never lasted. I’d be right back there 10 weeks later, my scalp burning, my hands covered to protect them from the chemicals and I know I’m in a better place now. I know my hair and scalp are thanking me and I know this is me. Unashamed, free, me.

Cheers Rocco!

Cheers to Another Year!

I’m home. After touching down at 3:30 AM last night, and rolling into bed close to 4:30 AM I’m ready to be home and to get back into the life. I spent a week in Southern BC, vising family on Vancouver Island and meeting my boyfriend in Vancouver for a few days.

My days were spent stuffing my face, walking everywhere, picking up some clothes to round out my wardrobe (had to supplement my jeans), watching the fireplace channel with my 3 year old niece, holding hands with my boyfriend down sparkling city streets, being close to the ocean and eating more waffles than I should! I took a seaplane for the first time, watched some people freak out about a rat running around the closed Starbucks at the Vancouver airport. Aaah, good times.

My Christmas was merry and chill which is the only way I like to go. I’m not about the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. To me it’s a time to relax and spend some time with those I love. I’m really thankful I was able to do that this break, and I’m also thankful I was able to have two weeks off work to do so!

Since Thanksgiving in October (Canadian style) I gave it a great effort with a friend of mine to push ourselves at the gym. We also held off on beer for those 8 weeks and I really admire us for that. Nearing the end it was getting a little difficult for me. But looking back now, I’m impressed with our enthusiasm at wanting to make some life changes.

While on my trip I really wanted to enjoy the stuff I can’t get while at home so I went full out on sushi, Belgian waffles, poutine, all the goodness I could get my hands on. There’s no way I regret that, plus a lot of that was accompanied by oodles of walking around downtown Vancouver. I’m not going to get into sizes an weight but I want to go back to my passion before. I hit the gym today and took it easy. A girl can’t get fit in a single day, but I’m ready to put in the work this winter and see where I end up once spring rolls around.

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Added to that, I’ve been wondering what’s going to happen to this blog, where I want it to go. It has been a while since I posted last but I know I’ll miss the community, the lessons learned and passed on from this online readership. I love checking up on your guys’ newest posts and seeing what you guys are up to whether it’s with hair, life, fitness, finances or food. I’ll be honest, I don’t think I can give up this blog quite yet. I’ve had an amazing journey from my start back in May 2013 and look where I am now. I hope I can be a source of ideas and I am continually inspired by what I see from all of you.

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I have some goals for this year. I’m sure each of them will unfold in good time and I’ll do my best to share them with you.

Below are some pics of my eats and shenanigans this holiday season.

Happy New Year to each of you.

Much love,
Ndeshi

Oh! Bye October? Hi November, Stay and Chat A While

Ouch.. my last post was saying bye to September and when I wasn’t looking October flew out the door too!

I miss you guys so I was happy when I found myself with no plans tonight. I’ve already put on a coat of nail polish, once it’s dry I plan on moisturizing my hair and putting it into chunky twists.

Fitness

I am on my third week of diet/exercise! I find my food choices have improved drastically. I miss chips but I find that allowing myself some yummies in small portions infrequently helps me from going absolutely crazy. My friend S and sometimes L have been at the gym like fiends. And we’ve reached the point where we get bummed out if we miss a day so we’re there quite often. Usually after work. It’s night-time dark by 5:30 PM here (thanks Daylight Savings…) so all I want to do when I get home is jump into my flannies (flannel jammies) and veg. Tonight I’m lucky enough to do that because I ran 10k on the treadmill this morning (ack!). Tomorrow I’ll be gyming in the evening.

Why am I hitting this again so hard? I tried on a couple of dresses I have and was just so done with looking the way I do. I don’t want to gym to get ‘skinny’. I may have said this before. I want to gym so that I can see positive changes in my body. I want to look and feel strong. I want to run easily and I want to be comfortable in the clothes I wear.

My biggest hurdle when working out is definitely my period. It’s not the early mornings or the last 2 kms on the treadmill. It’s feeling like a bag of crap and still putting on my gym wear and getting out there. It’s avoiding foods that make me feel cozy when my insides feel like they’re getting chiseled away at. So let me tell you it’s going to take everything in me to just buckle down and do it.

Life

My bf and I are planning a NYE not here. We’re going to kick it in the big city with a couple friends and enjoy some time off together that isn’t here. I’m really excited. It’s just what I need to look forward to. We’ve both got our time off approved and so we’re going to book hotels/flights this weekend.

Also! Between the two of us we have 3 (potentially 4) holiday work parties to attend. Mine are Friday and Saturday of the same weekend and it just so happens to be on a boat (holla)! To save ourselves from a drive home in what will be plenty of snow, we’ve got a hotel Saturday night and will just take the shuttle there. I’m so excited. It kind of gives me a boost to work out hard so I feel great that weekend.

Raffi has his winter tires on so I’m just waiting for the snow to creep lower down the mountain and eventually cover the town. I do love when it snows. Especially that first full snow. Everything is muted. Quiet. Still. And it looks gorgeous. I’ll have to make sure to capture my surroundings this winter.

It’s also been raining for literally, the past 4 weeks. A solid month of rain. We’ve had 3 rainfall warnings during that time. My new gumboots have definitely made themselves useful.

Rocco

Rocco has been behaving. He rocked a bomb twist out Sunday evening when my bf and his family came over for dinner. He’s so soooft! I’ve gotta moisturize him and put him up so he can stay that way. I also desperately need to order some Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie. It’s a great product and keeps my hair moisturized, smelling great and feeling so soft.

Money

I need to do better at budgeting and sticking to it. I can put away a large amount of savings no problem. Then I give myself a little spending money. But then when my money runs out… I end up picking up my Mastercard… I never hold a balance on my card, but that means I have to get the money from somewhere (savings) to cover my purchases. Not the route I want to be taking. So I need to figure that out. But I decided to have an automatic transfer to my RRSP every paycheque so that’s one less thing to worry about. I just need to decide what sort of retirement portfolio I want to take part in… I also need to figure out what that really means, yknow?

I hope you’re all doing well and I can’t believe this year is wrapping up so quickly. It will be Christmas then New Years’ before we know it! I’m thankful for every day I get.